Friday, October 23, 2009


Megan's post made me green tea with envy. hahaha. I am so funny.
Before tonight's posting I must issue this disclaimer:
None of the events, people or places in this blog are real. This is entirely a work of fiction. If you are law enforcement reading this, please note, the author is a fat man in Iowa.
Understand? Good.
English teaching so shady! We evacuated the children today, took all of their pictures off the wall, rolled the files (the filing cabinet is on heavy rubber wheels, like a Jeep) through the bathroom, out a window and into the alley. We aren't supposed to have children in this building until December. I told my friend this. He said that one time at his school, the took the kids onto the neighboring building's roof and conducted class. The police inspectors came up to the roof but since they didn't have a permit to search the other building they couldn't do anything about it, even though they could see the class. At least my school pays the police for the courtesy of a warning call.
Oh, and working before you have a work permit it a strict "no, no".
Good thing I'm here as a student and not as an illegal worker. At least that is what Fantasy told my new landlady when she asked.
Yesterday, I saddled up on the back of Fantasy's scooter. We drove to the realestate office. I sat at a table with two middle aged women (real estate agent and landlord). An office girl served us yellow tea. No one else drank theirs so I didn't either. Fantasy sat with me. She talked a lot. I don't really know what was said. I answered them in Chinese when they asked my name, age and country of origin (that's all I know; well i can also order coffee and bubble tea and beef noodles). Soon everyone pulled out little wooden stamps. Rectangular pieces of wood, 1cm x 1cm x 4 cm. They put their stamps on a green colored document. Since I didn't have a stamp I had to dip my thumb in the red ink and press it on the paper next to my signature.
Now I have an apartment. It is 1cm x 1cm x 4cm. Well, actually it is 10 ping. A ping is just smaller in size than a twin bed. This includes the bathroom. So really my apt. is 8 ping.There is a bed, a desk, a tv and a refridgerator.
I am in the heart of Sanxia which is good. My apt number is 9, which is a very lucky chinese number.
My new address is
Taipei County
Sanshia Township
#264 Wenhua Road (actually, I don't know how to spell it because there is no English on the roadsign.)
6floor, Room 9
I asked what the postal code was but no one understood me. I will find out soon.
I move in on Sunday.
After signing the papers all 4 of us went outside, me, Fantasy, Ms.Lin the realtor, and Ms. Jayne the landlady. Fantasy handed me her spare pink helmet. Ms. Lin got on her scooter. Ms. J got on the back of Ms. Lin's scooter. Fantasy got on her scooter. I got on the back. Off we went to the new apartment so I could learn how to use the keys etc...
Then I went to work.
I told my kids they shouldn't start a sentence with the word "Because".
They said "Why not?"
I said, "Because I said so."

Ashley was late coming home tonight. It was after midnight. Ingrid wanted to have a talk with her about the business. "stay in control of this kids. teach them. bla bla bla."
The kids in my class say "bra bra bra" in lieu of "bla bla bla". I have even heard the foreign teachers use "bra bra bra". It sounds strange to me.
I have work in the early morn.
It is time for bed.


  1. Why is this fictional government against educating these fictional children? They make it hard for teachers to teach and for kids to attend. I don't understand... any thoughts? And by the way, jumping through windows, from roof to roof, and attempted poisoning by yellow tea... you're James Bond.